For all the Ph.D Mamas out there ‘never tell yourself the sky's the
limit when there are footprints on the moon’.
I am a Ph.D Mommy, and I know I am
not alone out there! I am pretty sure that there are thousands of woman that
are and have been in my same exact situation.
Just to make it short, I had my first baby at 23 years old when
I was in my last year of Master Degree in Marketing and Retail. As soon as I
found out that I was expecting a baby the decision was to ‘continue University’
or ‘not’. I decided to continue (even with a belly that everyday got bigger and
bigger) I attended classes, I studied, I passed my last exams and did a lot of
research and study writing 250 pages for my Master thesis.
This was not an easy ride, and I am sure that any woman can
make it, you only have to believe in your own abilities. However, I do not judge those
who for some reason didn't make it...
In Italy Universities are not family-friendly 😨😩 places and
especially where I live in South of Italy is even more unpopular to see a
student with a belly showing up to classes and exams...Even in Italy women explore the
continued inequality of the sexes in education and we have no help and support! This is even worst in many
other countries, but as I suggest to many other mothers that write to me, just
let them be…let it go...continue your hard work for you and your family!👍✊
I did not care people frowning at me, I did not care about
words like ‘oh you are the first pregnant student in University that attends
classes’ ‘maybe you should go home, you look tired this is not for you’ ‘this
is too much stress for you, is hard with a baby’. I did not care, I just made
them talk while I continued doing my job and graduated proudly showing my big belly of 7 months (here is a picture of me
with it J)
and achieved the best result possible plus academic honor (110 cum laude).
Two
months later (21st of September) my baby boy was born, it was the
best gift ever! Me and my husband where so happy for this beautiful gift that
lit up our lives!
When my son was 2 months old I won a scholarship for an
Executive Education in one of the most prestigious Universities of Italy
located in Milan. The program was very interesting and challenging but I had to
move to Milan and attend for more than 1 month full time classes, with my husband
attending a full day internship (he could not help with the baby) and you all know
how attending classes can be difficult when having a newborn baby, especially when
breastfeeding and when like me you have to hide in Universities bathrooms to do
so… However, I accepted the scholarship, you are wondering how…? THANKS TO MY
MOTHER as she took care of my baby while I was in Milan attending classes. I
left her my milk, pumped as many as I could and organizing everything weeks
ahead the course, then while I was away I continued to pump the milk and save
it for my baby as I used to go back home during the weekends. This was very
hard, I cried and prayed so much that you cannot imagine, fortunately it was
only 1 month but being far from my baby even just for one day was very hard
even if I knew he was in good hands. This again shows how even in Italy (form
North to South) Universities are not family friendly at all and you have to go
in a bathroom and hide to breastfeed and pump your milk who knows where! Don’t
even think to bring a newborn baby in a University…mission impossible!
First of all I praise God, for providing me all these
opportunities and granting me the capability to proceed successfully. And I thank
him for my mother, who was always there for me and my son Domenico... if it wasn’t for
her I am sure I could have never done it all! She helped me so much through
this hard journey!
I started my Ph.D. studies after winning another scholarship
in 2012 and graduated this past June 2016 with great success! Again story repeats
itself as I found out of my second pregnancy when I was writing my Ph.D. thesis
J
The key for success? Is family support!!
I want to express my gratitude and deepest appreciation to
both my family in Italy and United States for the endless love and help as I
ended my research studies in New York at Fordham University. I warmly thank and
appreciate my parents, dad for your spiritual support in all aspects of my
life, and mom for letting me sit at a computer while you slave away (especially
when I was studying in U.S.A. for 5 months).
The best outcome from these past years comes from my
soul-mate, and husband. I married the best person out there for me. There are
no words to convey how much I love him and he has been great supporter,
unconditionally loving me during my good and bad times. Thank you for allowing and expecting me to
carry a laptop and textbooks with me on vacations, and make it become sadly
part of everyday life.
I thank all my FAMILY for their support and encouragement, without
them I could not have done all of this! These past years have not been an easy
ride, and I truly thank you all for sticking by my side, even when I was
irritable and miserable.
I cannot finish without thanking my little man, my lovely
💙💙sweet son💙💙 it was not easy having a Ph.D. student Mommy, but he reminded me
that it is OK to kick the soccer ball around a bit and sing and play without
being attached to a PC all day. Thank you my little man for moving to the
United States for five months, for your great patience and understanding.
🌺🌻Now I am a teacher and all of this made a successful mother out of me, hoping to
give all my best also to my little ‘Angel’ who is now inside of me, and soon
will bring even more joy to 💖💞Mommy, Daddy and Domenico 💖💞
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